A mother is often the primary figure in a child’s life. Her name is the first word most babies learn, and children turn to mom for comfort.

With so much of the focus on mothers, it’s easy to forget how important fathers are in the lives of children. Sometimes dads tend to fade into the background and let the moms handle child-rearing.

Don’t let that happen in your life. Read this open letter to a dad to be:

Dear Dad to be,

You probably have a lot going on in your mind right now, so thanks for taking a moment to read this letter.

By now, you’ve probably been thinking a lot about how your life will change with the birth of your baby. If you want your child to have a good start, you’ll have to be there, involved in every aspect of that kids’ life. You see, children who grow up with involved fathers are more emotionally secure and more confident. They have fewer problems and are more successful.

Most importantly, you’ll influence your child’s ability to have healthy relationships. Your interactions now with Mom, with friends and family, and even with coworkers and complete strangers establish the patterns for behavior that your child will imitate.

The influence you have is infinite.

They say girls look for their fathers in the men they marry. It’s true. If you want your daughter to marry a man who respects her and treats her well, be that man while being her father. If you hope that her future partner will appreciate her intellect and elevate her to new levels of success, you must do the same.

Your son will seek your approval. How you show that approval will define him, and he will treat others as he sees you treat them now. There’s a reason for the proverb, “An apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Boys form behaviors based on what they see modeled by their fathers.

That’s a lot of pressure. There will be days that you wonder why you had kids in the first place, but there will be other days that you are overjoyed that you did. The self-doubt will eventually wane, and the confident self you once were will return.

Please remember that you are a critical part of your child’s life, not an auxiliary figure who steps in only when Mom’s not around. You are the other half of your kid’s world.

And Dad-to-be, take care of Mom.

That baby needs both of you.