I was a ‘walking zombie’ with undiagnosed PPD—but like so many other women, I never received help
The first few months after giving birth were supposed to be a blissful haze of newborn cuddles and a love so intense it could melt the coldest of hearts. But for me, it was a dark, lonely abyss. I felt like a shadow of myself, a ‘walking zombie’ trapped in a body that felt both foreign and exhausted. The joy I expected was absent, replaced by an overwhelming sense of sadness, anxiety, and hopelessness. I was suffering from postpartum depression, but I didn’t know it.
Like so many women, I brushed it off as the “baby blues” – a temporary phase that would eventually pass. I was terrified to admit the truth, scared of being judged, labeled, or worse, having my child taken away. The stigma surrounding mental health, especially postpartum depression, felt like a heavy weight on my shoulders. I kept my struggles hidden, isolating myself further in my own despair.
The reality is, postpartum depression (PPD) is incredibly common, affecting around 1 in 7 women. Yet, the lack of awareness and the pervasive stigma surrounding it prevent many from seeking help. We are told that motherhood should be a joyous experience, that we should feel nothing but pure love for our newborns. This unrealistic expectation silences our struggles, pushing us to suffer in silence.
My wake-up call came when my own mother, a nurse, finally noticed the signs. She gently urged me to seek professional help, and it was the best decision I ever made. Talking to a therapist, finally putting a name to the monster that had been consuming me, was a weight lifted. Medication and therapy helped me reclaim my life and start to heal.
But the journey was not easy. The guilt and shame of not being the “perfect” mother lingered. However, with time and support, I began to realize that asking for help was not a sign of weakness but an act of strength. It allowed me to be a better mother, to truly connect with my child, and to experience the joy of motherhood I had been yearning for.
My experience is not unique. Millions of women are silently suffering from PPD, their struggles hidden beneath a façade of normalcy. It’s time to break the silence. We need to create a culture where talking about mental health is not taboo, where women feel empowered to seek help without shame.
If you are struggling with PPD, please know you are not alone. Reach out to a medical professional, a trusted friend, or a support group. There is help available, and you deserve to feel better. Remember, asking for help is not a weakness, it is a sign of strength and a step towards recovery.